Desperate Housewives S02E04 My Heart Belongs to Daddy (VO+STFR&EN)
- You're not taking me? - Dad's gonna.
Lynette's new job came with a price...
If this charge sticks, I get sent away for eight years.
... and Carlos paid for his mistakes.
- Are you in love with Mr Williams? - No.
I think the machine picked up on something I wasn't aware of.
Bree detected feelings she'd never known.
Come within ten feet, I'll have you arrested!
- Susan discovered something... - Zach is your son, isn't he?
... too close to home.
The residents of the Fairview County Jail looked forward to every Tuesday.
That was the day that Gabrielle Solis came to visit her husband.
The inmates went out of their way to give her compliments,
whether she wanted them to or not.
With each visit these accolades became
- increasingly inventive. - Right over here, baby.
Still, Gabrielle was not flattered.
In fact, Gabrielle started to dread this... special attention.
Ride 'em! Ride 'em!
Until one day, when...
I don't think a conjugal visit is such a ridiculous request.
With all due respect, let's get through the discovery phase.
I don't think I can wait that long.
I am trying to get your husband out of jail.
Want me to stop everything so you can have a booty call?
Excuse me! We are husband and wife. We make love. It is a sacred covenant.
Hmm.
- OK, look, all we need is 20 minutes. - I said no.
You can't tell me no. You work for me. You will make it happen.
You can't force me to do anything.
I am not your maid. Or your gardener.
Ooh!
- I could have you arrested for that. - Oh, really? And how about for this?
- Oh! - You crazy bitch.
- Ow! - Hey! Apologise to the lady.
Big mistake, pal!
I play golf with the warden. You're gonna rot...
Ah!
You heard him. Apologise.
Look fellas, I am just trying to do my job.
This is all her fault. If she weren't so damn horny...
Ah! Ah! All right, all right!
Guards!
It was at that moment it occurred to Gabrielle...
Apologise! Apologise!
... this was the nicest compliment she had ever received.
Now!
There was one thing all the fathers on Wisteria Lane had in common.
Daddy!
They could return from a day's work to the family they'd left behind...
You're home!
... and not feel guilty about the precious moments they missed.
Sadly, the same could not be said for the working mothers.
Hey, honey. I held dinner for as long as I could. It just got...
Mmm... too late for them.
You couldn't have given them coffee?
I just feel like I'm missing out on their lives entirely.
Hey, you sit, eat, and I will fill you in.
Oh, don't eat that. That's been sitting out for hours.
That's for Mrs Mulberry. This is for you. Ow!
- I'm sorry. Who? - Oh, Mrs Mulberry.
Parker has an imaginary friend... Um, British nanny.
I think he locked in to the whole Mary Poppins thing.
Is that why he's sleeping with an umbrella?
He carries it with him everywhere. It's his security blanket.
When did this start?
About a week ago, I guess.
You don't find it odd that Parker's new nanny made her appearance
at the time I went back to work?
Kids have imaginary friends. It's no big deal.
I'll agree with you to a point, when they're flying kangaroos or robots.
- Not surrogate mommies. - Hey!
Parker's having a little trouble adjusting, that's all.
Apparently, so are you. Honey, don't be so sensitive.
I hope you're right.
At the risk of sounding too sensitive, how come she gets a bigger portion?
What, that's it?
You're the one who said you wanted things to be casual.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean we have to act like brother and sister.
I mean, you bought me ribs. I have gratitude to express.
- What's wrong? - I can't do this.
This casual thing. It's... it's weird.
No. No, it's not.
We're just gonna pretend like it was when we first started dating.
We just see each other occasionally,
you know, until we get this Zach thing resolved.
Yeah, we'll just be easy about it. No commitments.
Except, of course, neither of us is allowed to date anybody else.
Look, I...
I know how you feel about Zach,
and I don't blame you.
But he's part of the package right now.
And either you can accept that, or you can't.
Anyway...
Mike, wait!
I accept.
- Are you sure? - Zach's your son.
And I have Julie, and you've totally accepted her.
Granted, she's been the model child so far.
But she's almost 15. She's gonna turn on me any minute.
You better be there to help me when it gets ugly.
I will.
Good night.
- Uh, Susan? - Yeah?
Technically,
we don't have to be casual anymore.
I can be naked in 20 seconds. That includes travel time.
- Carlos, will you calm down? - You incited a prison riot!
It wasn't a riot. It was more of a melee.
Who's gonna defend me now? Doyle knew my case, the judge...
- He called me a bitch. - Well? Were you acting like one?
He refused to help me get a conjugal visit.
Hold it. My lawyer is in traction because you wanted sex?
Not just for me. For us.
In case you haven't noticed, Carlos, our marriage is still on shaky ground.
A conjugal visit would fix it?
It couldn't hurt. Since you've been here, all we do is bicker.
That's all we did when I was out. That's what we do.
When we would finish arguing, we would have great sex.
Now we fight, and there's no payoff. It sucks.
You and I need to get laid!
Don't judge me. You're not in here because you got caught helping the poor.
We'd be enjoying this if we had something to look forward to.
Fine. Get the damn lawyer.
And make it quick.
I take it that was my good-night kiss.
George, you're a very special friend. You are.
Rex hasn't been dead four weeks. I think kissing on the lips is...
- Further than you want to go. - Exactly. I hope you don't mind.
Andrew! What are you doing?
I'm taking out the garbage.
Of course. You remember Mr Williams.
- Hi, Andrew. - George.
- Uh, well, it's getting late, so... - Yeah.
Let me know if you want to go out to dinner again.
There's new restaurants I'd like to try.
We've been eating out a lot lately.
Why don't you come over Friday for a home-cooked meal?
- Wouldn't that be nice? - I would love that.
So, you're leaving, or what?
We're not done talking.
She said it was getting late. In case you missed that, that was a hint.
Andrew. That wasn't a hint.
I'll go when I'm ready.
Actually, it is getting late, and I am tired, so...
See. You heard the lady. Now, take off.
- Andrew... - It's OK.
He's not really that tough. He knows I would never hit a child.
Andrew!
George! Oh!
Stop it, the two of you, this instant!
This was a perfectly lovely evening, and now the both of you have ruined it.
I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour. Do you understand?
All right, then.
George, we'll see you Friday for dinner.
I'll be serving fish.
Hey, buddy. Hey, wake up, sleepyhead.
Tch-tch-tch. Parker. Hi. Hiya, pal.
Hey! What do ya say you and me go get some doughnuts, OK,
before Mommy has to go to work? Yeah?
Come on. Come on. Come on, come on, come on...
All right! Oh!
So, what do you think you're gonna have, huh? Jelly?
Because I think I'm gonna have a bear claw.
Stop!
- You forgot Mrs Mulberry! - What?
Oh, um, well, since I'm here,
maybe she could just relax in the house for a while, OK?
No! I need her.
OK.
Hello, Mrs Mulberry.
Don't forget to buckle up.
Here we go!
Wait!
You forgot her umbrella.
Well, Parker, we don't have time.
No!
She needs it.
- Hi. - Hey, what are you still doing here?
I'm looking for Parker's umbrella. Have you seen it?
No. Nope, sorry.
You better hurry. You're gonna be late for work.
Thank you for that.
I couldn't find Mrs Mulberry's umbrella,
so I brought her her sun hat instead. All right? And here we go.
- It's in the shower. - What?
Mrs Mulberry says she left it in the shower.
Well, why didn't Mrs Mulberry volunteer that information
before I turned your room upside down looking for it, hmm?
- Are you going to get it? - I'm not gonna get the umbrella!
I'm so sorry, sweetie. I am not mad at you.
What are you doing?
Uh...
We don't want doughnuts.
Hmm.
Andrew! You are not leaving the house dressed like that.
I'm just going to meet some of the guys at the swim club.
I don't care. Put this on.
Every time you leave, you represent this family.
The least you can you do is not humiliate us.
A ripped T-shirt is just a look.
Yes. A bad one.
I hope you haven't made plans for tomorrow night.
If you think I'm having dinner with the pharmacist, you're crazy.
Part of the reason I'm having him over is so you get to know him.
Well, I don't want to get to know him.
Honey, the feelings that you're having are perfectly normal.
But George isn't trying to take your father's place. He's...
Well, he's just a friend.
- Really? Just a friend? - Mm-hmm.
So, you're not planning on getting more serious with this guy in the future?
You know, I haven't even thought about it.
You're so transparent, it's pathetic.
You're worried about a ripped T-shirt humiliating this family?
Wait till people see that you're dating the town nerd
less than a month after your husband's funeral.
I'll be serving dinner tomorrow at seven. Don't be late.
I'm sorry, but I already have plans.
Andrew, don't you have a meet at the swim club?
Yeah. So?
Doesn't it require a large entrance fee?
One that you can't afford by yourself?
Are you blackmailing me into coming to dinner?
Oh, you don't know the lengths I'd go to for even seating.
Mayer! Is this yours? It blew into my front yard.
Oh, sorry. I'm helping Mike find Zach.
You know, so we can all rest easy at night.
Uh-huh. And put him in jail?
I don't think Mike would do that to his own son.
- You know? - That Mike is Zach's real father?
Yes.
Julie told Karl. Karl told me. And I...
...sent out a few e-mails.
Well, thanks for your discretion.
Boy, you would do anything to get Mike Delfino to love you.
What's gonna happen to Little Creepy when he gets here?
Are you gonna tuck him in at night?
Make him breakfast in the morning?
Careful to bob and weave as he tries to blow your head off?
You know, Edie, could you just back off?
The truth is, we're probably never gonna find Zach.
- It's a needle in a haystack. - Oh, I see.
You'll still come off as Little Miss Perfect Self-Sacrificing Girlfriend,
putting his needs ahead of yours.
Oh, why, you conniving little shrew.
I don't know why we're not closer.
There was a reason David Bradley
was the most successful lawyer in all of Fairview.
His arguments were persuasive...
No one ever has to know.
... his manner was forceful...
Take it off. Take it off!
... and he tended to win on appeal.
Come on. Please.
And when it came to the more challenging cases,
he knew it was to his advantage to raise the first objection.
I'm not gonna take your case.
What?
- Yes? - Sorry to interrupt.
Dinner cancelled. Want me to pull your reservation?
No, I still have to eat. I'm sorry. Where were we?
You were about to turn me down and reconsidered
once you realised I was gonna throw a ton of money at you. Which I am.
Ah!
It's not about the money for me anymore, Mrs Solis.
If I don't feel passionately about a client,
I don't bring my A game to court.
It'll take my A game to save your husband.
Is this about the gay-bashing thing? He's innocent.
He went berserk, attacked a man in court.
That was a jealousy thing.
The man my husband was trying to kill in court is not the least bit gay.
Trust me.
Your file also says you're seeking conjugal visits.
Trying to keep the old marriage alive, huh?
Why does everybody have a problem with me having sex with my husband?
Can I be frank?
Only if it ends with me getting what I want.
- Your marriage is doomed. - Excuse me?
I've been doing this for a long time.
I know what incarceration can do to a relationship. Marriage is hard enough.
But when you throw in cement walls and armed guards, iron bars,
it tends to go downhill rather quickly...
...conjugal visits notwithstanding. - But I...
Listen, you want my advice? Walk away.
You're young.
Hey, you made a mistake. You'll learn from it.
Maybe next time you'll marry smarter.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have dinner reservations.
Reservation. You're eating alone, remember?
And I have a feeling it's not the first time.
Sorry I couldn't get here sooner.
I forgot my husband had to take our youngest to the paediatrician...
That's all right, Mrs Scavo.
So, what did Parker do?
Are you aware that your son has an imaginary friend?
- Uh, Mrs Mulberry? - Yes. We've met.
Well, um, yesterday, Parker demanded
that Mrs Mulberry get her own easel during art.
Which was fine, but today it was a desk.
And unfortunately, we didn't have an extra desk.
Oh.
- That must have been ugly. - It was.
Patty was... rammed... with this.
I am so sorry.
Mrs Scavo, have you experienced a death in your family recently?
No. No. Why?
lmaginary friends are often created as a coping mechanism to...
- To deal with loss. - Uh-huh.
Or it might occur as the result of some major change
or extensive alteration in their lives.
Exactly. A manifestation of some deep-seated unhappiness.
Can you think of anything that might
shed a little bit of light on this for us?
Mrs Scavo?
Thank you.
The Golden Gate Bridge,
what a great place to get a picture of the sunset.
So I lean out, way over the rail to get the shot.
Next thing I know, the police arrive.
People had called 911 from their cell phones.
Thought I was suicidal!
I can't believe how well those two are getting along.
Yeah. It's freaky.
Andrew is being polite and engaging.
He's even laughing at George's jokes.
That's why it's freaky. George's jokes aren't funny.
Ah! So, George, can I ask you a question?
- Uh, it's kind of personal. - Sure.
Have you ever actually been with a woman?
Excuse me?
Well, let's be honest.
It's obvious by the way that you talk and act that you're not a player.
So I was curious to find out if you'd ever gotten in the game.
My experience with women is none of your business.
Oh, I think it is. I mean, you're dating my mom.
And we both know that, at your age,
dating's a little more than holding hands.
- We're not dating... exactly. - Oh, sure you are.
Know what? I think it's great. But I want to make sure my mom's happy,
and it would really set my mind at ease
to know she's with a guy that knows how to please a lady.
This is inappropriate.
You know, my parents had a great sex life.
Yeah, I heard them through the wall in my bedroom once.
Please shut up.
You should have heard my mom too. She had this... this weird moan.
It was kind of like, um... Mmm...
Uh!
Isn't that bizarre? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes.
OK, time for cobbler. Sorry, one of the dessert plates doesn't match.
I tried to replace it, but it's Spode Florence.
It's a rare pattern. Belonged to my grandmother.
Hopefully once you taste the dessert you'll forget about it.
- I'm not hungry. - You have to have this.
It's absolutely scrumptious.
Mmm...
Mmm!
That's it.
- Go to your room! - George!
You heard me. Go to your room.
Mr Williams, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?
Bree, please back me up.
- Well, what did he say? - I can't say. It's too sordid.
But he said it!
Are you gonna back me up or what?
I can't allow you to discipline my child
if you won't even tell me what he did.
George? George!
Mrs Solis, David Bradley.
I feel really bad about the tone of our meeting.
So to make up for it, I'm gonna do you a favour.
The more I think, the more I'm convinced your marriage is a train wreck.
The gnarly type. You know, mass casualties.
Anyway, I'm passing on the name of a great divorce lawyer, Kier...
You have some nerve leaving that message on my machine.
- You realise this is inappropriate. - I will tell you what is inappropriate:
You making sweeping assumptions about the state of my marriage.
- Care for a drink? - No.
I like to keep a clear head when I'm telling people off.
What makes you think you know anything about me or my husband?
Your husband's record speaks for itself. With you,
I had to rely on my instincts.
The same instincts that picked out that cologne?
You're privileged.
You're pampered. You're spoiled.
You want what you want when you want it. You want excitement.
A quickie every five months in a prison trailer isn't gonna scratch that itch.
With all due respect, I will decide for myself
what needs to be scratched and when.
Mrs Solis, you are a beautiful... desirable woman.
Now, your husband is a dim-witted, corrupt, violent criminal.
You could do... so much better.
- Are you hitting on me? - What would you say if I were?
I'd say, "I'm pregnant."
So I see you're stuck.
I'm not stuck, Mr Bradley. Believe it or not, I love my husband.
I charge $ 700 an hour. Plus Xeroxing.
I'll pay you six. I expect a conjugal visit tomorrow by noon.
Aren't you demanding.
Like you said, I want what I want when I want it.
A woman I talked to at social services said a lot of runaways hang out here.
What?
Just happy to be spending the day with you.
At homeless shelters and bus stations?
I'm gonna go ask these guys if they've seen Zach.
We'll cover more ground if we split up.
OK.
Thanks.
Have you seen this boy?
Missing kid. Anyone?
Going once, going twice...
Oh, do you mind keeping those?
And pass them out when people get their ice cream?
Huh!
- What? - Oh, isn't that him? Over there?
Oh!
Zach? Zach!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Don't, don't, don't! Zach, don't! Don't!
Zach, don't run away! Wait! Come on!
Just... Would you get back here?
Come on, really, let's just talk.
Damn it, Zach!
It's enough already...
Nobody here has seen Zach,
but there's a halfway house on the west side I want to check... out...
Are you OK?
I got you some ice cream.
You did?
But then I got hungry.
So I just threw my ice cream at him and ran.
- Somebody say something. - Thank God you were in flats.
I'm recovering from, "Mike is Zach's real father."
I should have told Mike I saw Zach. I'm a horrible person, right?
Oh, Susan, come on. Zach attacked Felicia.
He blew up your kitchen. Evidently he tried to kill Mike.
I think we can all agree this kid's a freak.
What do you think, Bree?
Well, I think, given everything that's happened,
um, it's perfectly justified that you'd be frightened of Zach.
But?
But Zach is Mary Alice's son.
He grew up playing in our yards.
If he has any hope of surviving,
I have to believe he's better off here than on the streets.
I couldn't have imagined how much going back to work would upset Parker.
Look, he's gonna be fine.
He's just got to get used to Daddy providing all the love.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I am kidding.
Look, kids are resilient. He will adapt.
Tom, he attacked a teacher with an umbrella.
It was a poke. He poked her.
I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't be working?
The kids would benefit from having two stay-at-home parents.
Although buying food might become an issue.
Maybe I could change my work schedule, try and get some flextime.
- Would Nina go for that? - No.
No. No, no, no, no!
It would help if you came up with some ideas.
- How about hugs? - Hugs?
I read in one of those magazines that kids are supposed to get
ten hugs a day. It makes them feel more secure. I say pile on the hugs.
- And that'll fix everything? Hugs? - Yeah.
Come here.
Hi.
- It's working, isn't it? - Shut up.
Hey, buddy. You busy?
Yes. Mrs Mulberry is reading to me.
Well, isn't she nice. But it's time for bed. So I'm gonna tuck you in, OK.
No!
I know things have been hard for you since I started back to work.
But it is just as hard for me to be away from you.
And you just have to remember that even when I'm not around,
my love for you is real.
You may not be able to see it, but it's not imaginary like Mrs Mulberry.
It's real.
OK, honey?
Mrs Mulberry is real, and she said you're a liar.
Parker.
- Parker... - We're reading!
I... I don't understand. Why can't we see each other anymore?
Because ever since I found out what Andrew said to you,
I've been doing some soul-searching.
I realise that everything that's happened is completely my fault.
- Oh, no. That's ridiculous. - No, it's not.
All the things Andrew's been saying and the way he's been acting,
it's connected to his father's death.
It's clear that I need to spend more time
focusing on him and his needs.
You know, you're right. You do need to focus on Andrew.
Thank you, George, for being so understanding.
Of course.
So, have you thought about counselling?
That place you sent him to, that behavioural modification camp?
- He got counselling there? - I only sent him there
because his behaviour at the time was so completely out of bounds.
You... You don't think that what he said to me was out of bounds?
I just think if I spend a lot of time with him, it'll really help.
Why not both? Let him spend a few months with some caring professionals
- and then bring him home. - What he said to you was horribly rude.
But that camp, it's extreme, and, I mean,
unless I felt like Andrew was getting really out of control, then...
Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.
You know, in spite of everything that's happened, I really like Andrew.
- Oh, George, really? - Yeah.
The truth is... he reminds me of me.
Conjugal rules are you got 45 minutes.
We call every 15 minutes to make sure you're here. Understand?
Yes, we got it. Uh, we interrupt our lovemaking to answer the phone,
or you call out the dogs. OK.
I'm ready whenever you... obviously are.
Carlos, are we gonna make it?
We just did. You wanna go again?
No, I'm talking about us.
Our relationship. Our marriage.
Carlos, you're gonna be a father.
When you get out of here, you're gonna need to get a job
and make an honest living for me and our child.
Babe, I've learned my lesson.
OK, when I get out of here, everything's gonna be different.
We're gonna start over with a new life and a great family,
and nothing is gonna get in the way of that.
Hey, so you never told me,
how's the new lawyer? You like him?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm still here.
OK. Enough chitchat.
We only have 30 minutes left. And I want to make the most of it.
OK, please don't run.
- I can't. I hurt my foot. - How?
I landed on it funny when I was running away from you.
- What do you want? - To talk to you.
- Why? - Because I have a lot of things to say.
So you can just listen. I'll buy you some food.
When was the last time you ate?
My dad's alive? Where is he?
I don't know. He disappeared.
But Mike did not kill him. He's alive. You swear.
- I swear. - Maybe he's in Utah.
I know that he used to have a life there, before me.
I just... I just need to get some money and find him.
Zach, you know what I think? I think you should come back with me.
- Why? - There are still people at home
that care about you. And there's things that you need to know.
Like what?
Well, I can't tell you.
You messed up a lot of people's lives, Zach.
- You can't run away from that. - Do you mean Julie?
What?
I know that I messed up her life.
But I didn't mean to.
I really miss her out here.
I think about her all the time.
Yeah, well, Julie's a really special girl.
Has she said anything about me?
If she has, then I might still have a chance with her.
If I come back with you, then I could make it up to her.
Do you know what I think?
I think you're right.
I think you should try to find your father first.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Now that you know he's OK, you should go to him.
He'll want to take care of you. That's what parents do.
Let me help.
How much money do you think you'll need to get to Utah?
Daddy! I can't find Mrs Mulberry's umbrella. Where is it?
I don't know, sport. Honey, have you seen the umbrella?
No. Can't say that I have.
OK, listen. Don't worry about it. I'm sure Mrs Mulberry is around here.
Or, uh... maybe she's not.
She could have left.
You know,
maybe she had some other little boy that she needed to help.
- Like who? - I don't know.
It could be a little boy in, uh... England.
Named... Spencer.
- Lynette? - This is conjecture on my part,
but it is possible that someone like little Spencer
needs Mrs Mulberry more
cos he doesn't have a daddy
and a mommy who love him.
Yeah. That's it. He's an orphan.
With no hands. OK?
You're so sweet. Come here.
I love you. Are you all right? OK. Go get dressed.
What have you done to Mrs Mulberry?
Until there's a body, there's no evidence of a crime.
Mrs Mulberry! She's back!
Oh... goodie.
Mrs Mulberry's back!
- She got ran over. She's dead. - Don't you worry. I'm here.
Maybe it's OK, buddy. Maybe we can call 911, or...
No, Tom. She's gone.
Swimmers, take your marks.
- George, what are you doing here? - Don't worry, Bree, I'll be quick.
I thought about what you said, and you're right.
- Andrew needs his space. - Well, thank you, George.
It's best that I stay away.
And I completely understand if you want to change pharmacists.
But I did want to give you a little goodbye gift.
George! It's my pattern! Where did you find it?
I got lucky on an online auction.
I love it! Thank you. Oh!
George...
Oh, George. George!
George!
Andrew! What are you doing?
Andrew!
Get off of him, Andrew!
- Stop it! - Are you crazy? Knock it off!
Did you see him? He was kissing her!
Oh, my God, you're bleeding.
- That freak was kissing her! - I don't care. Calm down, now!
The world is filled with good fathers.
How do we recognise them?
They're the ones who are missed so terribly
that everything falls apart in their absence.
They're the ones who love us
long before we've even arrived.
They're the ones who come looking for us
when we can't find our way home.
Hey, what's wrong?
Because of me,
my son's imaginary friend got crushed by a garbage truck.
I am the worst person in the world.
Yes, the world is filled with good fathers.
Honey, he is gonna get over this in no time.
Trust me.
And one day, when he is all grown up,
you and Parker are gonna laugh hysterically about this.
You really think so? Really?
And the best
are the ones who make the women in their lives...
I promise.
... feel like good mothers.